Pace

On that day we fell out of favor
we lost our rhythm, broke the metronome
that could have been our savior

you walked away while i stayed behind
or was it in opposite directions, memory is unkind.
our love became stencils, outlines with nothing filled in.
empty wishes, hopes and promises filled to the brim.

i still hear whispers of that time we lost
we put down our swords but at what cost
i cross every street to find you there
but you're not really you, and i'm not really here.

i walk in circles to find our familiar pace
but you've gone ahead, running a different race
we should've kept time by counting together
but the beat ran away from us, memory into ether.

Worlds that refuse to coincide.
Flick of a wrist we all close our eyes.
Heart murmers for something sweeter.
In three days time I will leave her.

Tomorrow.

Run outside there's nowhere else to hide.
hear a thousand voices none are one of a kind.
voice shouts you're playing the wrong chord.
head tilted upwards, eyes to the floor.

remember things past, spring back to winter.
clouds form in your head, you forgot how to miss her.
dial up the number operator unlisted.
no message inside she actually ripped it.

whisper your story over and over.
slow dance starts again, hand on her shoulder.
record plays the song slightly off tune
a different path taken, and it's over too soon.

each moment is the last of its kind.
we're not at the right place, i wasn't in time.
down the hole our distance grows wider.
fancy grey suits are just ego providers.

ask me to speak i am so disinclined.
stopped at the corner, counting the straight lines
mistake the silence for false sincerity
let go of my hand you mean nothing to me.

intervention attempts to blow embers to flame.
hollowed out center means nothing has changed.
put on a smile and whistle another tune.
what do i mean when tomorrow comes to soon?

Little Boy Lost

I won't apologize for the way I was
Sorry's don't make up for the tears of blood
So I erase your name from my phone today
Can't face the words you'll want to say

You see you don't understand the way I act
Turned the lights off don't look back
Guilty conscience keeps your face inside of me
Hope the story changes inside my dreams

You're a little girl with those insecurities
Need someone constant for your every need
I'm not the man I'm supposed to be
Try to change but no one believes in me.

Walk the line, you forget what side you're on
Don't know where that little boy has gone
He's left and gone for a reason
I had good intentions but you'll never see them.

one i always loved..

If You Forget Me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

Pablo Neruda


i've had a sad day today. death is always difficult for me, and i i guess you know i take it hard in my own way. i wish you were around to speak to. you'd know the right words to say. i re read some of your old notes.. even words written in the past were good for some comfort. i always loved this poem by neruda. sometimes i fear that the 4th stanza rings true for you... i hope not. i tend to disagree with neruda as much as i love this one. love does not need to feed on love. sometimes it needs to nourishment. and it lasts forever.. and its roots will always remain.