summer

today summer really begins.. unofficially of course. it was dead hot here in new york city. hot. sticky. uncomfortable. you can almost smell the garbage beginning to rot on the streets. you didn't just breathe the air, you felt it, like a sticky web all around you.

this isn't summer. the picture above is how i'd like to imagine summer. breezy. beautiful. like a long weekend between a busy work week.

words we said in a letter.

make a noise in the dark so i know you're there
lost on location but the view is still the same
people move in and out with a little less care
everyone looking like you none with your name

can a liar ever tell the truth
and will my words ever make it through
they're just waiting on your doorstep
memories passing through but always kept

last time i sat here another band was playing
right now was still a tomorrow yet unseen
spring was more like winter and fall more like spring
and the view from my seat is just less interesting.

this was my time please can you please see
now we're locked doors searching for our keys..

fancygreysuit.com

i'll be updating this periodically now with a new project i have been thinking about..

koons

I went to the igoogle launch party today. i created some of the artwork for the oscar de la renta portion of it. and jeff koons was there and i met him. and he was the nicest person. completely humble and so sweet. it was quite moving. and i'm still so excited. and i thought that you would be excited too. and i wish i could tell you all about it.

walden

today i watched walden by Jonas Mekas. the way it was shot, like watching a home video, really made you feel like you were experiencing his life with him. There was this part, where he talks about the world moving quickly and you can just watch this movie. and it stops. how you can interact and get something from these moving images, or you can just tune out, really got me thinking. It was like he was talking about how we're not stopping long enough to get something out of things. We move too quickly and time is lost and when you turn around, you missed it.

she's better now..

the best thing ever..

i saw this on another blog and had to share it. it's the best thing ever. and i'm sure you'd like it.

How are you? Do you remember? This day we met on this bench? One year or more... Since you left to Switzerland I lost my dad and my best uncle. I lost my dreams about life and love. Sometimes losing my mind... Never forgetting you. I wish you the best!!! From here to nowhere.

Parc du Cinquantenaire, Brussels, Belgium

like you..

When i read this, it reminded me of you. about how fragile you could be, in a precious way. about how special you are. that there were other forces at work. that beneath that hard exterior, you just wanted to be loved like everyone else..


I didn't want my picture taken because I was going to cry. I didn't know why I was going to cry, but I knew that if anybody spoke to me or looked at me too closely the tears would fly out of my eyes and the sobs would fly out of my throat and I'd cry for a week. I could feel the tears brimming and sloshing in me like water in a glass that is unsteady and too full. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar,

Time and again.

i hate sunday nights.

Today.

"let's start over again.."

Glow.

Last night I dreamed I saw you again. I went to a small clothing store. It could've been on Lafayette. You saw me and you looked surprised and like you didn't want to see me. Then you gave me a smirk. You know that smirk/smile you do, when you know something that i don't. the one that's so frustrating yet mischevious and endearing at the same time. And you looked so young. so fresh as if you were glowing. And today i couldn't stop thinking about it. And hoped that you glowing in real life.

Excerpt from "I don't owe you anything" by the Smiths (i'm listening to the Sandy Shaw version)

Did I really walk all this way
Just to hear you say :
"Oh, I don't want to go out tonight" ?
"Oh, I don't want to go out tonight"

But you will
For you must


I don't owe you anything, no
But you owe me something
Repay me now


Too freely on your lips
Words prematurely sad
Oh, but I know what will make you smile tonight


Life is never kind
Life is never kind
Oh, but I know what will make you smile tonight

My Blueberry Nights

I saw My Blueberry Nights today. Let me preempt this with the fact that I am a huge WKW fan. I went into this movie with very low expectations since this movie got relatively panned by critics. It wasn't bad. at all. WKW needs to stop going into his bag of tricks with the same visual effects.. slow motion, stop motion etc. The art direction was so-so as well. William Chang should've stayed away from the usual 'moody' look of the other films as I think he failed to capture the heart of the cities that the movies took place in. Norah Jones' acting left a bit to be desired, but I think this came from the lack of depth her character had.

On to the good. Jude Law was great. His character was fresh and his interaction with Chan Marshall was my favorite part of the movie.

Katya: Sometimes, even if you have the keys those doors still can't be opened. Can they?

Jeremy: Even if the door is open, the person you're looking for may not be there, Katya.

last night..

Last night i dreamed we hung out.
and you weren't mad at me anymore.
i think we had tea.

"Jeanne" by the Smiths

Jeanne
The low-life has lost its appeal
And I'm tired of walking these streets
To a room with its cupboards bare

Jeanne
I'm not sure what happiness means
But I look in your eyes
And I know
Oh ...
That it isn't there


Oh, we tried, and we failed
Oh, we tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried


Oh, Jeanne
There's ice on the sink where we bathe
So how can you call this a home
When you know it's a grave ?


Yet you still have that greedy grace
As you tidy the place
But it will never be clean
Jeanne


We tried and we failed
We tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
And we tried


Oh ...
Cash on the nail
It's just a fairytale
Oh ...
And I don't believe in magic anymore
Jeanne


But I think you know
I really think you know
Oh ...
Oh yes, I think you know the truth
Jeanne


Oh ...


No heavenly choirs
Not for me and not for you
Because I think you know
I really think you know
Oh ...
I think you know the truth
Oh, Jeanne


We tried, and we failed
We tried, and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried and we failed
We tried

Groundhog's day

Volvo

Last night i dreamt i went to your house. You lived in a nice white house. It had a porch. I rode my bike over and noticed your car was leaking oil. You had a white volvo station wagon circa 1983. Which incidentally was my first car. You came out as I was fixing it. I got under and starting tightening some knobs. and you looked just like you did since the last time i saw you...


Excerpt from Halo by the Cure..

I never felt like this with anyone before
You show me colours and I'm crying
You hold my eyes in yours
And open up the world
I can't believe all this

I want to keep this feeling
Deep inside of me
I want you always in my heart
You are everything

Back to the old house

Listening to "BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE" by the Smiths
I would rather not go
Back to the old house
I would rather not go
Back to the old house
There's too many
Bad memories
Too many memories
There ...
There ...
There ...

When you cycled by
Here began all my dreams
The saddest thing I've ever seen
And you never knew
How much I really liked you
Because I never even told you
Oh, and I meant to


Are you still there ?
Or ... have you moved away ?
Or have you moved away ?
Oh ...


I would love to go
Back to the old house
But I never will
I never will ...
I never will ...
I never will ...


anyway, just wanted to let you know i was thinking of you and i hope you don't think i forgot. or didn't miss you. and if you're reading this, then maybe you miss me too, just a little...

backstage at oscar by me.

Growing UP..

a nice quote

"To live in Paris is to kiss your lover long and deep on some bridge or other. It is to arrive soaking at a gleaming square and search in agony for the face that never appears. To live Paris is to rush into the metro fearful of being late for an adulterous tryst, or to take refuge with freezing hands in some out of the way cafe. the cafe, a place for lovers. Because there is a Parisian way of loving, and whoever falls in love in Paris cannot love any other way. "
-Zoé Valdés